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March 6, 2005

I wrote the following letter to the family on October 21, 2004. Kristi is the only member of the family that made a formal reply, but I wasn't really expecting any. I was just trying to jump start some family introspection, in preparation for a renewal of our strategic planning process.




An Open Letter to My Clan

To all of you,
I guess I'm writing this because I believe the time has come for the Clan to make a fresh beginning. We have great potential for effectiveness in reaching whatever objectives we set as a family, but, for various reasons, many of our goals remain unmet. This is not a failure. We've had numerous successes and have never let go of the idea that we will stay close, and that we should cooperatively chart a course that takes us to the same destination. Nevertheless, the busy lives we now lead force us to be very efficient and realistic about what we can achieve outside our individual households. Every "organization" must reflect, make reassessments, and modify plans. I want you to know that I've rededicated myself to helping us do that. I also want you to know some of the things that are on my heart.

To my nieces and nephews,
I think about each of you often, not just when I make your birthday card (which I love to do). Much is happening in your lives as you apply yourself to building a future, but keep in mind that many of you are now close to our ages when Grandy-bo first called his children together as a Clan. He wanted to get our views about how the family could avoid drifting apart, and how to build something that we could all share. It's time to earnestly begin those deliberations again. Share your thoughts with your brothers-sisters-cousins, and find the courage to admit your honest opinions on this subject with one or both of your parents. You are indeed the future of the Clan. My Dadbo had his vision, but he didn't impose it on any of us, except, to a degree, in the case of our Mombo (but I'll get to that issue in a moment). My point is that he put his own dream on the line by asking our opinions and bringing us into the equation. I believe we owe it to you to do the same. Let us know what you think and how you feel. In our early twenties, the "life" of the Clan was not an abstract thing, but something most urgent— a here-and-now priority that compelled us to make decisions and take action. What is it for you? Help us understand what kind of a desirable "life" you envision for our extended family. Let us know what you are willing to do to make it happen.

To my brothers and sisters (and their dear spouses),
Our story is not over. Yes, our Dadbo's vision was huge, and we were swept into his ambition. He was a natural leader. We followed when he was here, but we lost our footing when he was not. We became reactionary instead of proactive. So be it— if we found it difficult to realize our goals, let's not spend time dwelling on the past, defending our shortcomings, or criticizing our performance. We are not defeatists. We must find a new and better way. It is said that leadership reproduces itself. We had a leader who set a goal, gave us his example, shared a philosophy, recorded his advice for posterity, and then stepped aside when he knew the timing was right. Have we resisted the idea of new leadership? Have we declined to step forward ourselves? Have we ignored those who did? Iacoca said, "The speed of the team is the speed of the leader." No leadership, no forward momentum. A leader's job is to look into the future and decide where to go. What is the "big dream" that we can stand up next to our father's? What is the shared vision that we can look to with unity, clarity, and pride? Let us reaffirm the principles and values we got from our parents and refuse to accept a future left to chance.

To my Mombo,
You, perhaps, had the least participation in charting the course of the Clan in its early days, when we decided to go "back to the land" and set in motion a collective challenge to ourselves that remains in large part unfulfilled. Your support and dedication since that time has proved to me that the Clan Legacy is as important to you as it is to any of us. It's not your responsibility to solve the problems of our stalled momentum, but I encourage you to take the initiative if your heart wills it. Not every aspect of your circumstances requires our consensus or prior notice. Or, if you think something does, gently but firmly demand our attention and our prompt action. If we let you down as a group, then "take the bull by the horns," as you see fit. You're much too vital a person to relinquish any part of your own personal fulfillment or physical well-being. I think I can speak for all in saying that none of us would ever want that to happen.

A certain ballplayer/philosopher said, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there." What is the character of the Clan that we "see" for tomorrow? What is it that we must do to become what you see? What must we safeguard and what should we abandon? As we move toward the next planning session, I'll do my part to bring things back to basics, to redefine our notion of accomplishment. I invite your participation with all the sincerity I have— to identify our true vision, to set achievable milestones and to get the engine of Clan-Power firing on all cylinders, so that we can look forward to working together and celebrating our success.

Thanks for listening and for giving some thought to what I needed to say to you. Don't forget that everything we have to work with —our talents, our skills, our land, our resources, and our love— belongs to God. All we need to do is put Him first, make a new commitment to each other, and then give it our true effort, asking the Lord to bless it and multiply it according to His divine will.

I shall love you forever,

JOHN A




March 8, 2004
One year ago . . .
. . . I'm so damn imaginative that I can't focus on my commercial assignments. I sense that I'm becoming more disconnected with my family. I have so few, if any, true friends that I can be totally honest and comfortable around. Each day is good, and I have my health, but time runs out of my fist like fine sand. I look at my life's output and both the quantity and quality are so disappointing that I get depressed. Okay... Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Knock it off.

March 3, 2003
Two years ago . . .
. . . Wrote a long letter to Jay... He needs all the help of those who love him. He probably doesn't even know yet how difficult a path he's chosen, but he had the courage to take the first step, and nothing else could take root without that.

March 7, 2002
Three years ago . . .
. . . Another day of indignities for Bruce... Today he went in for biopsies and six guys wanted six pieces of his kidney for tests. Jeez, hasn't that organ been through enough already?

March 7, 2001
Four years ago . . .
. . . I remind myself how magnanimous and self-revealing he could be when it came to his life's work— this family!

March 7, 2000
Five years ago . . .
. . . Now I see clearly how easily I was preparing myself to gamble relationships with family and friends and a lifetime of business contacts...

March 5 , 1999
Six years ago . . .
. . . I got a bit of a glimpse at machinations behind the Brass Band Festival, but another thing I noticed— how others think nothing of cutting in to a conversation I'm having with Jeannette. She's done the same to me when I'm talking to someone else. I'm sure it has something to do with a pecking order that only an anthropologist would understand.

March 5 , 1998
Seven years ago . . .
. . . Discovering the historic district of the Village of Glendale. Lunch at the Kangaroo Coffee— must bring Dana here soon. Saw pastels by Karen Monzel, my old classmate and London companion... I miss Dana and Danville, and yet I'm looking ahead with pleasure to a few hours in Cincinnati, a city I can't seem to shake.



T O P