J...o...h...n...’...s.....J...o...u...r...n...a...l

"Tis a miserable thing to be in a place where everything you see employs and concerns you; and I fancy that I more cheerfully enjoy the pleasures of another man's house, and with greater and purer relish, than those of my own..."

. . .— Michel de Montaigne

July 22, 2001

At the Cooney Abode. . .
. . . The nice thing about getting to this place after dark— my breath was taken away when I woke up and saw the wonderful lake view in the morning light with a deep blue sky overhead. Outstanding! We're settled in, online, and enjoying our holiday. Everything looks perfect at this point, even though we've been kept off the deck by the presence of some type of hornets or jellowjackets. Ouch! They don't want us out there. That's okay, because here, with all the glass, you feel like you're outdoors even when you're inside, and there is so much more to enjoy. I didn't really know what to expect, but here we are, and it's much more in sync with my own aesthetic desires than I dared to hope for. We've decided to take a lazy approach to our first day. Departure thoughts are far, far away...



All is going well. I raided the collection of Great Books downstairs and it is especially relaxing to read Montaigne in this setting, sipping the brew of the bean (prepared by my love), and absorbing the unspeakable pleasure of "another man's house" in the Northwoods. Dana found an interesting book entitled The History of Slovakia. I had no idea that one of the fathers of the Czech-Slovak federation was named Stefanak! Yesterday we did a long bike ride (we brought our MTBs up on the rack), and watched a seaplane circle Windigo Lake. Made me think of Benedict's 9. It isn't taking much to turn us on. Waking up and realizing we're still here is enough to make our day, and then it just gets better!
. . . Last night we watched the sun set over Grindstone during dinner at the Lakeview and then found a big fireworks display on Indian land at dusk. It was an enjoyable, peaceful day, but today was even better— perfect, in fact. I must hold the memory of this magnificent day! The sun, the water, the sweetest companionship imaginable, the music, the ripe avocados, the wood fire... But most of all (is it true?) the absence of stress, that self-generated curse which I can surely lift at any time, but neglect (or refuse) to do. Can I stay tethered to my glorious day in the midst of the mundane, which will return again so much sooner than I would prefer?
. . . Broke out the art supplies and spent some time painting indoors, while we waited for the rain clouds to pass by. The day started out gray and threatening, but eventually we went out on the lake and were happy when it cleared. What good fortune! When I go to Michigan this kind of weather can hang on for days. Dana ordered almond-crusted walleye and I had garlic-roasted scallops at The Beach Club restaurant for dinner...
. . . I finally found the hornet nest (about the size of a softball) under the porch, against the house. We were surprised it was there, since most of the activity was around the deck and the dead tree trunk next to the grill. I hated to use a pesticide, but I figured I'd better treat before we left and soaked it good with spray. More of a mess that I expected. I decided to douse the tree trunk, too, since they were going in and out of the holes on a regular basis. I got stung only once, so I was lucky, since I had spent time crafting a rock garden by the front steps before I found the nest nearby. I hope the survivors will move off to a new location.
. . . We did our canoe trip on the Namekagon near Cable and it was gorgeous— wild iris, duck, deer, heron, schools of fish, etc. Then we hit downtown Hayward, ate pie at the Norwegian cafe, rode bikes to Lac Courte Orielles, and paddled back out on Johnson Lake at dusk. We were worn out, trying to "top off" the whole experience on our last day. It was our greatest vacation in many moons, and we just didn't want to let it come to a close...
. . . What have we done to deserve such a wonderful holiday in this special place among the loons? How do we thank the Cooneys for this extraordinary favor?
. . . I can't help but think of Diogenes, who, when asked what sort of wine he liked best, answered, "That of another."

Back at the Town House. . .
. . . Dana helped me realize that I was purposefully depressing my own mood in the aftermath of our splendid trip to Wisconsin (letting negativity into my heart). She is so right— it is my choice whether to see our current situation as a letdown or to use the joy of the recent experience to boost my spirit as we return to our ongoing studio responsibilities. Why do I so often see the glass as half empty instead of half full?
. . . In response I did four things today that always work to make me feel better about everything else in general: 1) I rode my mountain bike out to Mack's trails. 2) I shared the silence with the group that meets in his cabin on Sunday mornings. 3) I ran 5 kilometers cross-country afterwards, taking pleasure in all the different wildflowers. 4) I went to see a new show at the local art gallery. Whattayaknow... it worked again! Time to focus on my goals and create my own retreat in the Valley so I can have many more "perfect days" like that one in the Northwoods!

July 22, 2000
One year ago . . .
. . . Well, I wish I could adequately put into words what it feels like to reach the culmination of this arduous process involving the horse feed packaging illustration. Not only is there a strong feeling of artistic achievement, but there is a general sense of empowerment that borders on euphoria. I guess this is what it's all about— setting a challenging goal and reaching it. Why did it take so long? Now, there's where the debilitating fears and doubts come into the equation, but, given that, try to identify some of the keys that acted as the antidote: Environment— setting up the more private work station downstairs. Tools— solving the problems to get the electronic tablet back in action after it was rendered useless by the upgrade. Music— employing the power of great music to provide inspiration and motivation. Gradience— deciding to tackle "doable" segments and not letting the total magnitude overwhelm me. Diligence— continuing to work through the side effects of too much computer work: body tension, cramping, neck spasms and pain. Decisiveness— refusing to further tolerate a project without a due date; they live on as unmet goals and feed procrastination, because projects put off are nothing more than that: projects put off.
. . . Dana made two pies for my personal victory, small as it seems in the grand scheme. I feel like I couldn't eat anything less than pie today.


Man in comfortable chair will wait long time before roast duck flies into his mouth.

. . . — Chinese proverb




T O P