J...o...h...n...’...s.....J...o...u...r...n...a...l
A R C H I V E S
Thanks
for
visiting.
March 7, 2000
Consciousness
moves
at the speed of Light . . .
. . . KM.net
dominates the scene. Fourteen days ago I wrote, "The program looks
good. This could explode as the gold rush of the 21st century, or it could
be a total scam. I'm trusting the instincts of Jeannette." And then
the following Saturday, after the first meeting, I was on cloud nine with
the entry that reads, "So this is what it feels like -- a natural
high! I can't believe I can be buzzing like this without coffee, or that
I can wake up in the morning wide-eyed, reaching for a pen and tablet.
Wildfire! This baby is going to blow like a torch to monkey lard!"
Emotions ruled the weekend, but by Monday night I believed negative thoughts
were creeping into my mind, and reminded myself to keep a sense of Victory.
"Isn't this about focus and organization," I asked myself.
.
. . Something
was happening . . . a battle of polarities within the number 8 year vibrations.
When I had studied the numbers in January, Juno Jordan had cautioned:
"This year you will feel ambition stirring and a deep desire to better
your financial conditions, so it is necessary to be efficient and practical
. . . Organization and reorganization are the keynotes to success and
advancement. You are likely to feel a great deal of mental strain . .
. It is very important that you do not overestimate your ability or the
value of anything you are dealing with, especially investments. . . Avoid
sentiments and emotion and be businesslike in your undertakings."
The negative aspect of the dominant 8 essence was beginning to show itself:
overreaction, blind ambition, lack of true humanitarian feelings, etc.
But the watchword is Judgment. In the midst of the euphoria I could not
abandon my capacity for critical thinking, or maybe the higher mind was
taking command in answer to my prayers. Hadn't I asked for the Light to
infuse the effort? Boom! Within days I discovered potentially incriminating
information about the founder and the built-in failure mechanisms of network
marketing plans were more fully understood.
.
. . How
quickly change can occur! It was as if a spell was broken. It was not
my intent to derail anything, but I had to catalyze some type of action
to get the answers we needed. Cliff stepped forward once again to demonstrate
his superb skills at crisis management. And now we wait. Much of my enthusiasm
has evaporated, but now I am prepared to take more measured steps, less
in the tow of a current of feelings that clouds good judgment and moral
consideration. Now I see clearly how easily I was preparing myself to
gamble relationships with family and friends and a lifetime of business
contacts. I must not give up on the idea that I can do the proper thing,
the right karmic thing, the truly smart thing, and still better my financial
condition. I must keep in mind my personal thoughtform for 2000: "Change
is the character of every moment; therefore, the walker is fully present
in the eternal now, and directs each footstep on a path of his own choosing."
I don't know what happens now, but as my beloved mother says, "We
shall see."
March 10, 1998
Two years ago . . .
.
. . Dana
and I thought that today would be remembered as the 20th anniversary of
our first date. Instead, I'll remember it as the day I buried Ouinki.
I still can't fully grasp that my sweet little pup is forever gone, having
died from a ruptured uterus. The waves of grief are beginning to subside,
but the sense of loss is devastating. Too sudden.
March 2, 1990
Ten years ago . . .
.
. . I
am totally and absolutely enamored with the library across the street
from the Town House. This place is so wonderful -- not like the institutional,
cement block warehouses I've been used to -- this is a real library! The
people who created this understood that the library was a solemn, stately
room in the home devoted to a love of books and the nourishment of illumination's
flame. I've spent the better part of the last couple days over there and
I've completely lost the loneliness I had for a sense of solitude. The
opportunity to be alone at the Town House and spend time at this library
is in harmony with my current inner requirements, now that I'm experiencing
my introspective number 7 year.
March 7, 1979
Twenty-one years ago . . .
.
. . Well,
the road to purity is not so easy after all. I don't know what caused
it, but I went on a bit of a binge. It wasn't all that satisfying, though.
After the first buzz, a lack of clarity, fatigue, loss of motivation.
I was glad to be straight again. Straight seems normal and better to me
now. I guess this is just part of it all. I "admitted defeat"
as Jaybo put it. Nevertheless, I'm finding a new way: The Science of the
Spoken Word. I will continue to explore this whole new world. It is so
fascinating, so comprehensive . . .
